" Like I healed your heart, I will break away the barriers. Believe that I can, just like I did with your heart." This is what my dad says to me today.
Well, if have you have known me for any amount of time, you most likely know that I once had a heart problem. It didn't look so great, honestly the doctors all said I was going to need a transplant.
Well that was 8 years ago, and here I am perfectly fine running marathons and still with the heart God gave me when I was born. The way it all happened was a miracle but that is a topic for another day.
Just know that spontaneous shrinkage occurred. I know first hand that miracles that no one expects can & do happen. They do, I am literally living proof.
This day, my husband and I are going for prayer over a decision I made 13 years ago, that is hindering us from having a little piece of ourselves. Yes we want a child. There I said it out loud and in print. Some call me crazy with Ken so close to being 18 but this is not just a whim. It is deep longing, that only grows harder with time. Some months I cry when mother nature unleashes, some I just get mad, and most well there is a lack of feeling about it all.
I have cried and pleaded, and even dared God to change it but yet it still remains as is. All along knowing the only way it could humanly change is to pay upwards of $10K to reverse my decision. This honestly I just don't have, and don't see it to be wise to go that much further into debt to force it to happen. Trust me I have fought with myself over this many many times.
Today before prayer, my dad tells me to believe that he can do it. Which really hits home, because I guess I have yet to believe that he can do it. I am sure my husband has hoped enough for both of us, but have we really believed and had faith that he can move that mountain. I know I haven't, honestly I never really thought possible. I guess I always figured it would have to happen by a human doctor and we would have to shell out that money to do it. So I must believe, just like I did that only he could heal my heart and make me live.
So we go for prayer, the Ledbetters pray over us, in agreement with Ken, and then they pray over Ken.
We pray for new life, for things to be undone and as they were before.I feel a strange sensation, almost like pain but not. I get a vision of clips falling off. All this happens on Baby Dedication Day at Sojourn, and the physician who performed the procedure sat just 3 chairs way from me in service.
So today and every day I chose to have the faith that the humanly impossible can happen and will.
